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Does your partner...

  • Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?

  • Put down your goals and accomplishments?

  • Make you feel like you are incapable of making a good decision?

  • Use intimidation or threats to get you to comply?

  • Tell you that you are or would be nothing without them?

  • Treat you roughly grab, push, pinch, shove, or hit you?

  • Call you several times or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?

  • Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying or doing hurtful things?

  • Blame you for how they feel or act?

  • Pressure you sexually for things you arent ready for?

  • Make you feel like there is no way out of the relationship?

  • Prevent you from doing things you want to do, like spend time with friends or family?

  • Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to teach you a lesson?


Do you...

  • Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may act?

  • Constantly make excuses to others for your partners behavior?

  • Believe that you could help your partner change if you could only change something about yourself?

  • Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?

  • Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?

  • Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?

  • Remain with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?


How to Assist a Friend in an Abusive Relationship...

  • Gently ask direct questions about your concerns and give your friend time to answer.

  • Listen attentively without judging or rushing to provide solutions.

  • Let your friend know that you are available to offer support and caring. You cannot take responsibility for stopping the violence. Only the abuser can do this.

  • Offer to help provide your friend with some educational resources about abuse.

  • If your friend plans to remain in the relationship, continue to be a friend. Avoid giving your friend ultimatums to choose you or their partner.

  • If your friend has children and is concerned about their well-being, reinforce their concern. 

  • Emphasize two important things to remember: Abuse in a relationship is never acceptable, and, despite their partner’s promises, the violence is likely to continue and eventually escalate.

  • Help provide your friend with information about Crisis Services and local resources. Give your friend the HELPline number. (256-716-1000)

  • If you witness or hear an assault in progress, call 911. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PHYSICALLY INTERVENE.