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characteristics of an abuser

Initially, the abuser will try to explain the abuse as a sign of love and concern, but as time goes on, the behavior becomes more severe.  An abuser may not have all these characteristics, but he or she may have several of them together, and, exhibited frequently, can be red flags indicating a batterer.

  •  Jealousy 

  • Controlling behavior

  • Quick involvement 

  • Unrealistic expectations 

  • Isolation 

  • Blames others for problems 

  • Blames others for feelings 

  • Hypersensitivity 

  • Cruelty to animals 

  • Use of force during sex 

  • Verbal abuse 

  • Rigid sex roles 

  • Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality 

  • Battering in past relationships 

  • Threats of violence 

  • Breaking or striking objects 

  • Any force during an argument 

  • Dehumanizes and devalues people 

  • Low self-esteem 

  • Tight control over family finances 

  • Minimization of violence 

  • Manipulation through guilt 

  • Rigid belief system 

  • Causes feeling of having to "walk on eggshells"

  • Harsh and inappropriate discipline of children